I thought I had done it. I thought I had written a decent story to enter in this competition. Over the remaining two months before entries close I could hone the story, rewriting over and over to ensure it was the best version possible. First step, give it to a friend to read.
He hated it. He said he found the characters were nobodies, that he was unable to feel any connection with either of them. I pointed out this was the point, that the two characters were ‘everybody’s’ which is why I did not use names and the dialogue was highly stylized. He said this did not make much difference to him. He said the story did not inspire him; there was nothing surprising in the plot; and while well written, the whole concept left him feeling cold.
I did ask for feedback.
So out with the old, and in with the new. To give my friend the credit he is due, he was very nice in the way he delivered his criticisms. And in the end he gave me an idea for a new story that I have used. So worth the pain. Hopefully.
As for the original story, I think it could part of a bigger story. I’m thinking some context on either side may provide a setting for highly stylized way this is written, and enable surprise and plot development.
This is what writing is about. This is what writing is. And this is what I do, for I am a writer.